Today was one of those days where my brain felt like it was about to explode, along with my heart, as there have been lots of pent-up emotions inside of me. Almost afraid to be around people, for fear of what might come out of me, I turned off my cell phone and car radio, and spent the next 10hrs driving through the mountains…not having a clue where I was going, or where I would end up. But I knew I needed to be in the midst of God’s creation, and was hoping He would speak in the process.
As best as I know how, I feel like I listen so closely to try and hear everything the Holy Spirit prompts me to do…whether it’s the seemingly small daily actions, or the major life decisions. I seek the Lord with all my heart, but have found myself in a place where I am in desperate need of His direction and intervention. I’ve been in this place for a long time, which has resulted in much frustration and confusion – just being honest. I can very much relate to what I imagine Joseph thought while he was stuck in the pit and then in prison, “How much longer, Lord? How long do I have to wait for change to come? For all the promises I’ve believed You for to come to pass? I’ve been as faithful to You as I know to be…so why the delay?”
It wasn’t until I was almost back home tonight, after all those hours of driving, that God used the sky to deliver a message…literally it was as if the sky was giving me a visual of what’s in my heart. While trying to watch the road and avoid causing an accident with the cars around me, I turned on my cell phone and started taking pictures of the clouds in front of me. I think God placed them there just for my benefit. There was a very large and ominous looking cloud attempting to hide the sun…yet I could clearly see an outline of the sun’s glow on the edges of the cloud. Right away I heard the words “break through” – the sun was trying to break through that foreboding cloud so it (the sun) could fully display its glory.
After enough time had passed for me to get my pictures, I witnessed the sun breaking through that dark cloud…and when that happened, even with my sun glasses on and visor down, I still had to squint because the sun was so bright! But one thing was certain, the light of the sun clearly illuminated the path in front of me. There was no doubt which direction I was heading. Interestingly enough, I also watched the dark cloud move very quickly away from the sun. It was as if the cloud couldn’t stand to be near all that glory.
Then God made the personal application… While there has been a dark cloud (not necessarily evil…God has likely been the One allowing this cloud to remain there for this season) attempting to block Him from fully breaking through in my life, His glory has still shone through – even if it’s just been the outer glow. But soon - so soon it will seem to happen in just a moment, THE Son is going to break through in my life in a way that will send that dark cloud running. There will be no more confusion, no more doubts as to the direction I am to pursue. Nothing but the Son, shining clearly and powerfully, in a way that radiates His glory.
I am so ready for the Son to break through.